In our fast-paced world, change is the only constant.

Whether in our personal lives, professional careers, or the broader societal landscape, we are constantly faced with new challenges and opportunities. Embracing change is not just a survival strategy but a powerful way to thrive and grow. This is especially true when working with incarcerated youth, where the need for change is urgent, and the impact can be profound. Here’s how resilience and embracing change played a crucial role in my journey with the IMPACT Youth Leadership Program in a juvenile detention center.

1. Cultivating a Growth Mindset

Resilience begins with a growth mindset, the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. When faced with change, those with a growth mindset view challenges as opportunities to expand their skills and knowledge. This perspective encourages perseverance and motivates individuals to overcome obstacles rather than avoid them.

I recently had the opportunity to pilot my IMPACT Youth Leadership Program in a juvenile detention center. For years, I’ve worked with traditional students and community day students, but for some reason, working in juvenile hall chilled me to my core. It was the fear of the unknown, and possibly even imposter syndrome. However, embracing a growth mindset, I decided to confront these fears head-on. Prior to the beginning of the program, I was extremely nervous, so I did a site visit to examine the environment and understand the pulse of the students. This approach helped me see how I could redesign the program to be more effective in this unique setting, transforming my initial anxiety into an opportunity for growth and innovation.

2. Embracing Change as an Opportunity

Change often brings discomfort, but it also opens doors to new possibilities. Whether it’s a shift in your career, a change in your personal circumstances, or a societal transformation, approaching change with curiosity and openness can lead to unexpected rewards. Embrace the uncertainty and use it as a chance to explore new avenues and experiences.

Unlike my traditional program, the materials I could use in juvenile hall were limited to just a pencil and paper. That was terrifying. Upon arrival, I had to go through the intake process, surrendering all my personal belongings and passing through a metal detector. Despite my initial apprehension, the educational staff was warm and welcoming, although the security presence was always palpable. But once I walked through that door, I realized these were just kids. Embracing the change in my environment and the limitations placed upon me, I saw an opportunity to innovate and adapt my teaching methods, making the best of the resources available.

3. Building a Support System

No one navigates change alone. Building a strong support system is crucial for resilience. Surround yourself with people who inspire, support, and challenge you. A network of mentors, friends, and colleagues can provide guidance, encouragement, and different perspectives that can help you adapt and grow.

During my first interaction, I instinctively started shaking hands and giving these young men the warmest smiles I could muster, speaking with a tone of excitement to show how happy I was to be there. Instantly, I knew this was where I belonged. For the last six weeks, I’ve been meeting with a group of 20 young men. I don’t want our sessions to end because these young men are amazing. We, as a society and community, have failed them. They grew up wanting to be loved and accepted but were misled and turned away. Their pain manifested in ways that landed them behind bars. Over the past six months, my team and I have poured our hearts into changing the direction of their lives, believing that the seeds we’ve planted will help them become better human beings and citizens. Our support system, including educators and staff, played a pivotal role in this transformative journey.

4. Setting Clear Goals

During times of change, having clear goals provides direction and focus. Define what you want to achieve and outline the steps needed to reach those goals. This clarity will help you stay motivated and measure your progress, making it easier to adjust your strategies as needed.

A critical component of this program was the use of my memoir, “Homeless by Choice: A Memoir of Love, Hate, and Forgiveness.” The students read several chapters prior to each visit with their teacher, so when I arrived, they had tons of questions about my life and the decisions I made. This proved to be extremely powerful for the program, earning the trust of these young men and making the experience deeply personal and impactful. By setting clear goals for each session and providing a structured framework, we were able to facilitate meaningful discussions and personal growth.

5. Practicing Self-Care

Resilience is not just about mental strength but also about taking care of your physical and emotional well-being. Regular exercise, healthy eating, adequate rest, and mindfulness practices are essential for maintaining the energy and clarity needed to handle change effectively.

By the end of the first session, these young men, initially guarded and cautious, were not only shaking my hand but embracing me with tight hugs, thanking my team and me for being there. When we asked them how they felt about the program, one of them said, “We feel how much you care about us.” This emotional connection reinforced the importance of self-care and well-being, both for the students and for me. Practicing self-care allowed me to remain present and fully engaged, ensuring that I could provide the support these young men needed.

6. Learning from Failure

Failure is an inevitable part of the journey. Instead of viewing it as a setback, see it as a valuable learning experience. Reflect on what went wrong, extract lessons from the experience, and apply those insights to future endeavors. This approach not only helps you recover but also strengthens your ability to face future challenges.

Through this journey, I have learned that even failures can be steppingstones to greater success and resilience. For example, there were moments when the program didn’t go as planned, and I had to quickly adapt and think on my feet. One session, in particular, stands out. The students walked in, and there was a heaviness in the room. You could feel it and see it in their body language. I knew no learning would take place until we addressed this heaviness. I asked the students to turn their worksheets around and asked if they felt the heaviness too. More than half nodded their heads. I shared that this heaviness—whether it was missing family, being mad at themselves, or fearing a court date—were all real-life issues and stressful. Their emotions were real and valid. I then taught them a tool I use to alleviate some of these pressures: I asked the kids to write on the paper what was weighing heavily on their hearts. Once they wrote, I asked them to symbolically crumble the paper and throw it away, as an act of letting go of what we cannot control. As they released the paper into the trash, they said they were letting it go and focusing only on what they could control. Sometimes our plans may not work out how we want them to, but we can learn and adjust. This exercise was a powerful reminder that even when things don’t go as planned, we can find ways to adapt and move forward.

7. Recognizing and Supporting Innovation

I am extremely grateful to the San Bernardino County Superintendent of Schools, County Superintendent Ted Alejandre, Assistant Superintendent Pierre, Dr. English, Mr. Durham, Ms. Crawford, Brenda Dowdy, Principal Hatcher, and the Children Deserve Success staff for taking the initiative to help guide these young men with this innovative program. Their support and trust in my team and me have been invaluable.

The only constant in these young men’s lives has been change, and that change has often led to more turmoil. How do we help our hurting youth get on track before being locked up? It requires each and every one of us not to overlook those who may be causing a little bit of trouble because they don’t know how to express their emotions. It requires programs like the IMPACT Youth Leadership Program and individuals with real-life experience to help these young ones find their path and believe in themselves. We must pour into their belief that they are not worthless and show them that they can have a positive outcome in life. Every misstep was a lesson, and every lesson was a building block for a more resilient approach, both for myself and the young men I worked with.

Conclusion

Working with incarcerated youth isn’t for everyone, but it is necessary that we help our incarcerated youth know there is hope. In a world that never stops evolving, resilience is the key to thriving amidst change. By cultivating a growth mindset, embracing change as an opportunity, building a support system, setting clear goals, practicing self-care, and learning from failure, we can navigate life’s transitions with confidence and grace.

We must invest in our kids now and allow them to become productive, model citizens, or we will end up investing in them as adults when we incarcerate them again. Remember, resilience is not a trait but a practice. It’s about continuously adapting, learning, and growing. Embrace the changes that come your way, and let them propel you toward a brighter, more fulfilled future. Investing in our youth through programs like the IMPACT Youth Leadership Program is essential. By believing in their potential and providing the support they need, we can transform lives and build a better, more resilient society.